Thursday, August 15, 2019

Grandma's Celebrity Gossip



Thoughts about celebrity misbehavior and its costs, or perhaps lack thereof.   Plus an Aniston family scoop.


O.J. Simpson is out of jail. This we need? Two people he murdered – his ex-wife and a nice Jewish boy. The trial, it lasted a whole year with a farchadat jury (whose members admitted afterward) that all had decided in the first month to find him not guilty because -- hoo-ha! -- he’s such a celebrity. This they call justice?

Later, to jail he went in Las Vegas for selling sports tchotchkes or some such opfal. Thirty-three years was his sentence, but him they let out after nine years. So now O.J. Simpson is on the Tweety Bird (Twitter) with 850,000 followers. But he should be so lucky. It turns out a good number of them are not fans, and they muschn him like the farseenisch that he is. Okay by me. They say he spends most of his time on the computer playing the Fantasy Football. If it were up to me, he’d be doing hard time on a Sing Sing chain gang or stamping out license plates.

John Aniston, who plays the crazy billionaire Victor Kiriakis on Days of Our Lives is leaving the show. His daughter, Jennifer Aniston, who was on Friends is going to play a part in the soap opera with her father. Mazel!

Sunday evenings I never miss the 60 Minutes, and I enjoy the current pack: Lara Logan, Lesley Stahl, Scott Pelley and Steve Kroft. Then not so long ago I noticed that Steve Kroft had gone missing.  It’s because he was caught cavorting with a floozy in a seedy hotel room while his wife of 27 years sat home knowing nothing. So, before he was fired, he quit.

And one more thing about 60 Minutes. I miss that old kvetcher Andy Rooney, but not those bushy eyebrows.  Oy, why didn’t make him trim them? Were they afraid of what they’d find in there? Dandruff? Chinch Bugs? The Lindbergh Baby?

I’ve said enough already.


Vocabulary

farchadat -- confused, distracted, dopey

farseenisch -- ???  It was difficult to find a definition for this term.
           The context suggests the word may be a synonym for  farbrecher, which means a crook or a con man.  To be fair, Yiddishisms are not always blends of Hebrew and German, but also include Hebrew-Russian and Hebrew-Lithuanian origins.  Results may vary by community.

opfal -- trash, garbage

floozy -- a woman of low character
          There are at competing claims about this word's origin.  In one case, it is said to have been derived from the English word "flossy," which seems like a bit of a stretch. 
           In the other, it is said to be Yiddish; its first recorded use dates to the early years of the 20th century, a period when Jews were fleeing pogroms for the less dangerous Anglosphere.
            I'm going with Grandma here.


Notes

Orenthal James Simpson was convicted in 2007 for participating in the holdup of a memorabilia dealer at gunpoint in a Las Vegas hotel room.  Simpson claimed the items taken had been stolen from him and that no gun was involved in their recovery.  The jury found him guilty on 12 counts.  It was his second brush with the law.


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Grandma is not the first person to comment on the late Andy Rooney's abundant brows.  His stock answer when people raised the matter:

"I don't know what to do. I try to look nice. I comb my hair.  I tie my tie.  
I put on a jacket. 

"But I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got."


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