Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Grandma's Haikus

Our regular celebrity columnist has shared some haikus with us.  She has not revealed their provenance exactly, but my suspicion is that the initials of the poet's name are these:  Grandma.

She has given us a single clue: 

"Me, I don't know from haikus, but these I agree with."

Grandma's Haikus

After the warm rain,
    The sweet smell of camellias.
    Did you wipe your feet?

    Beyond Valium,
    Peace is knowing one’s child
    is an internist.

    A lovely nose ring,
    excuse me while I put my head
    in the oven.

    Hard to tell under the lights.
    White Yarmulke
    or male-pattern baldness.

    Today, mild shvitzing.
    Tomorrow, so hot you’ll plotz.
    Five-day forecast: feh!

    Like a bonsai tree
    is your terrible posture
    at my dinner table.

    The same kimono
    the top geishas are wearing:
    I got at Loehmann’s.

    Her lips near my ear,
    Aunt Sadie whispers the name
    of her friend’s disease.

    I am a man.
    Tomorrow I will return
    to the seventh grade.

    Mom, please!
    There’s no need to put that dinner roll
    in your pocketbook.

    Be here now.
    Be someplace else later.
   Is that so complicated?

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